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Joke of the Day

"1st girl @ the moon: - Houston, we have a problem - What happened? - Nothing, doesn't matter - Come on - Nothing.. - Tell me - U should know"

"If Barnes and Noble started selling paint, what colors would they sell?.. 50 Shades of Grey"

"When's a door not a door? When it's ajar."

"*walks up to attractive person* I noticed u were eating. U wont believe this but I ALSO enjoy eating. We should get food or married sometime"

"Shitty one-liner: Giiirl, you can call me Saturday-Sunday, cuz I'm all you're gonna be doin' this weekend. Is this a thing? It feels like it has to have been a thing and I just forgot where."

"A baseball walks into Wimbledon. The announcer yells ""Hey, we don't serve your kind"""

"In Europe they are now printing their money on Greece proof paper."

"What do you call a fat woman with a rape whistle? Optimistic"

"The girls that say that all guys want is sex, are usually the ones who have only that to offer."

"The E. coli in the city water supply means I am just one glass away from my goal weight."