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Joke of the Day

"When I was young I used to pray for a bike, then I realized that God doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and prayed for forgiveness."

Next Joke
 
"I just found out I'm going to be a father!!! My wife will be pretty mad when she finds out."
"putting a sweater on your dog?? lol what's next, another harmless thing that only bothers me because i'm lonely"
"What is Sean Connery's favorite dish? A seizure salad."
"What's the fastest way to become a general in the Rebel Alliance? Leia Princess!"
"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The bartender says ""Hey! You know you've got a steering wheel in your pants?"" The pirate replies: ""ARRR it's drivin' me nuts!"""
"For Halloween this year, I'm gonna be a dish. Because bitches do dishes."
"Kid: Dad, a girl called me ugly, how long does ugly last.. Dad:Hey hun Mom:Yes? Dad: How old are you? Mom: 45 Dad:theres your answer kid"
"God I hate these crossword puzzles Does anyone know a 3 letter word for ""Father""?"
"What is the scientific name for a crippled tyrannosaurus rex ? Tywalkasoreus Rex"
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