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Joke of the Day

"A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in his pants... The bartender says ""Hey! You know you've got a steering wheel in your pants?"" The pirate replies: ""ARRR it's drivin' me nuts!"""

"""I'd like a bowl of soup please."" ""Any sides?"" ""I hope so, or it'll go EVERYWHERE."""

"Pro debating tip: Shave one eyebrow and draw a new one really high."

"Me: I just want to sleep! Brain: AND I WANT YOU TO THINK ABOUT EVERY LIFE CHOICE YOU'VE EVER MADE! Bladder: Oh & don't forget about me."

"What's a porn star's favorite dessert? Cookies and MILF"

"I heard Lincoln is doing well in theaters Traditionally, this has not been true."

"Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig."

"There once was a poet on Twitter who grew increasingly bitter. He couldn't surmount the strict character count and so his poems got even shi"

"Why do white girls only travel in groups of 3, 5, and 7? Because they literally can't even."

"What do you call a psychic midget that escaped from prison? A small medium at large!"