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Joke of the Day

"I hate when films say "" 'MAY' contain nudity?"" Either it does or it doesn't. DON'T WASTE MY TIME"

"I visited Karl Marx's grave in London yesterday. It was just another Communist plot."

"What do you call someone with no body and a nose? Nobody knows!"

"I'm exhausted. I just did 100 sit ups. The fact that I did them over the course of 40 years doesn't diminish the accomplishment."

"Someone asked who sang Johnny B Goode, and I said Marty McFly because I'm not an idiot and I know how time travel works."

"An invisible bomb was just invented, what do you call it? A newclear bomb."

"What do you call a daredevil Gigolo with dwarfism? A Stunted Stunt Stunter."

"guaranteed Smile... possible Snigger if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up"

"Dickens: It was the best of times, it was the worst of times Schrodinger: Nice, nice"

"How do religions reproduce? They have sects."