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Joke of the Day

"How many Apple Geniuses does it take to change a lightbulb? None, we just swap out your whole house"

"How do you blind fold an asian? You put floss over their eyes!"

"Did you hear about the terrorist comedian? He bombed on stage."

"There were two muffins baking in an oven. One muffin says to the other, ""Wow, it's really hot in here!"" The other says, ""Holy shit! A talking muffin!"""

"Baby, did you sit on my F5 key? Cuz dat ass is refreshing."

"If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window."

"I ask myself, ""How did I get here?,"" I'm sure my neighbors ask the same question every time they catch me in their house...taking a shower."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it be arrrrrrgh, but it be the sea."

"[2:30AM] *it's quite late now. Let's make a call* *Hey Boss, are you sleepin?* [Yes you nerd, why?] *cause I'm still doing your stupid work*"

"Where does David Cameron keep his hidden money? In the Piggy bank"