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Joke of the Day

"What did Shrek say when the waiter dropped off his food at the German Restaurant? ""Donkey!"" (Danke) You gotta say it with the shrek accent to work."

"What did the letter O say to the letter Q? ""Hey, your dick is hanging out"""

"Did you hear about the agnostic insomniac with tourettes? He was up all last night wondering if there is a cunt."

"I probably wouldn't know what to do with my hands if you were murdering me, but there's a strong possibility I would hug you really tight."

"I gave my car some heroine and now it's a plane. Too bad it will eventually crash."

"You so ugly when who were born the doctor threw you out the window and the window threw you back."

"You get in trouble for resisting arrest, but apparently you don't get extra credit for handcuffing yourself in advance."

"What was the last thing that went through JFK Jr's mind when his plane crashed? The console. What was JFK Jr's wife drinking when the plane crashed? Ocean Spray."

"What's the difference between a snow-man and a snow-woman Snowballs"

"Please stop throwing my only possession. ~dogs everywhere"