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Joke of the Day

"My dick is my mind My girlfriend blows it every week"

"Daddy long legs are the NBA players of spiders."

"I like my beer like I like my women... ...anything goes as long as I'm pounding it with a friend."

"You think you're not capable of violence, but then a bird sings at 6AM and you start researching surface-to-air missiles."

"Operation Protective Edge was not about wearing condoms."

"Why cant witches get pregnant? Because ghosts have hollow-weenies! Happy halloween :)"

"Anytime someone over reacts about a joke Hey, it's a joke not a dick don't take it so hard."

"I can't believe AntMan and Spider-Man are in civil war. That really bugs me."

"I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet I don't know y"

"James Franco is making a movie about lesbian vampires. I'm betting it'll be a period piece."