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Joke of the Day

"Why is the ocean salty? Because land doesn't wave back."

"How do you drown a blonde? Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool."

"Friend: ""Did you bring condoms?"" Me: ""No need. If I'm drunk enough to talk to a girl, I'm way too drunk to get it up."""

"I made a joke about candy today... ... it made me snicker"

"Well Officer..we didn't have a bottle so that dead guy over there.. ""Him?"" No the other dead guy..suggested ""Spin The .44""..And I WON!"

"Finding out your ex has a bad life is like finding 100 $ in your pocket. Not life changing but definitely puts a smile on your face."

"Did you hear about the Mexican that was shot on the golf course? There was a hole in Juan."

"What did the dentist say to the golfer? ""You have a hole in one. """

"Girls are never wrong. Until they are. Then they cry and are, somehow, not wrong again."

"What do you call a fake pasta? An impasta."