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Joke of the Day

"Very offensive man on the loose with flint and steel Sparks outrage"

"Heading upstairs to bed last night I started to pull my boxers off... The wife said 'You spoil them dogs!'"

"I was walking through a cemetery, and I saw a guy crouched behind a gravestone, so I said ""morning"", to which he replied ""no just taking a shit""."

"Girls vs Guys How come that when a women sleeps with a bunch of guys, she is considered a slut but when a man does it, he is considered gay?"

"What does the fox say? Go republicans!"

"Yes you impress me. But so does a squirrel crossing a telephone wire."

"This one time I swallowed a gum and my mom told me that ""it stays in your system forever,"" so I swallowed a table to stick it under it."

"If I'm suddenly acting really nice to you, chances are it's only because I want what you're eating."

"How do you know when a politician is lying? Their mouth is moving."

"I used to date a hoarder, and she broke up with me. That really stings ... I'm like the one thing she could get rid of."