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Joke of the Day

"What did one snowman say to the other snowman? I smell carrots too."

"Whenever you're feeling inadequate, remember: You know more about medicine than legitimate doctors during the civil war did."

"Playboy's decision to keep models clothed comes weeks after McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day."

"THERAPIST: you're running from something. what do u think it might be? [goose outside the window does throat-slitting motion] ME: uhfailure"

"Utilizing your Miranda rights... POLICE: Anything you say will be held against you... BOY: Titties."

"GOOD COP: I hate crime! BAD COP: I lost my gun. BRAD COP: Check out my abs."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? To see its smelly friend Knock knock Whos there Chicken!"

"Godzilla, Mothra, and Battra all walk into a bar... The building owner must now pay $100,000 due to property damage."

"What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner? Just be *honest* with it man..."

"What do you call a 350 pound stripper? Broke"