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Joke of the Day

"What did the cannibal order at the bakery? Cinnamon buns."

"Tried to eskimo kiss my girl last night... but she wasn't inuit."

"Two peanuts walking down a street One was a salted...."

"[about to have sex] WIFE: what happened to all the condoms?! [cut to] ME: *making balloon animals at work* [cut back] ME: affair"

"The new Samsung phone shares every picture you take with all your friends as soon as you take it. Good idea. What could possibly go wrong?"

"FOX News is a Mecca for people who hate Mecca."

"My GF spent $49 on a haircut. Had she gone to Petsmart she'd have gotten an ear cleaning, anal gland extraction and a free bandana as well."

"When a programmer is born, what are their first words? ""Hello world!"""

"What do you get if you ask a former presidential candidate to write a piece of music about a formula for solving a problem based on a sequence of specified actions? An algorithm."

"Looks like it's time to start pretending Andy Murray isn't Scottish again..."