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Joke of the Day

"Q: How do you keep a blonde in suspense? A: (I'll tell you tomorrow.)"

"Why do rabbits go to the beauty parlor? For hare care."

"[first day as aquarium guide] Me: & here's 8 snakes biting a soccer ball Guy: that's an octopus Me [sighs]: fine. 8 snakes biting an octopus"

"[NSFW] What did the farmer say when he got caught watching porn? Amishamed of myself."

"What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same."

"Good call inventor of glass tables. There's nothing more appetizing than realizing Aunt Mildred doesn't wear panties while I'm trying to eat"

"Me: ""Stay back! I'm an expert when it comes to karate!"" *mugger approaches* Me: ""Karate is a martial art developed on the Ryukyu Islands."""

"Why don't vampires go south of the border? Because every time they suck a Mexican's blood, they get the vshits for a month."

"I asked my mate what he was going to get his mum for Mothers' day. ""Nothing!"" he said. ""Why do they get a whole day to themselves, why can't we have a Son Day?"" We do mate, it comes after Saturday."

"French joke Why are the streets of France lined with trees? So the Germans can march in the shade."