134900

Joke of the Day

"Sorry about your lost dog. If you liked it, then you should've put a leash on it. If you liked it, then you should've put a leash on it."

"Australians don't have any problems with gender pronouns... Because we call everyone cunt."

"Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we need to talk."

"A seal walks into a bar The bartender says, ""What'll it be?"" The seal says, ""Anything but a Canadian Club."""

"Open letter to the mods of /r/Jokes [deleted]"

"The day I can't do my job drunk... Is the day I hang up my school bus keys."

"(Nsfw)What must a vampire ask before he has sex? Is it alright if I cum inside?"

"Give a man a bed, he'll sleep for a day Put a landmine in the bed, and he'll sleep for the rest of his life"

"Where do Star Trek fans work out? At the He's Dead Gym."

"How to make your girl feel special: 1) Write down how you feel about your drink or drug of choice. 2) Put her name on it & give it to her."