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Joke of the Day
"""Update Adobe or we'll kill you""-flash mob"
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"recruiter: u should join the army octopus: buddy I'm army enough as it is"
"HR: Do you use the visualization exercises from the anger management class? Me: Yes, I picture a swarm of bees attacking co-workers."
"A solid way to make your waiter's head explode is to order a grilled cheese with no bread."
"Little known fact: If you ride any animal in the zoo for more than 30 seconds... it's yours to keep."
"Why did the biscuit cry? Because its mother had been a wafer so long."
"How is a pirate like a trumpet player? They both murder on the high C's."
"I never thought that the Internet was very useful but now I've changed my mind. Let's hope your new one works better then the one you had before."
"I went on a date last night with Hellen Keller. I'll never go on a blind date again."
"It's like my mother always told me, ""If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all."" Then she said I looked fat."