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Joke of the Day

"Do extremely fat people still call them laptops?"

"Good cop ""If you confess maybe we can cut you some sort of deal..."" Crab cop *walks sideways off the table*"

"What did one ghost say to the other? Do you believe in people?"

"Chuck Norris joke: Alexander Bell invented the telephone. When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris"

"Mr. Penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbour is an asshole, his bestfriend is a pussy and his owner beats him habitually!"

"No one wants to be the sofa king But they all think they're sofa king funny."

"You know what really gets on my nerves? myelin"

"And God said unto John: ""Come forth, and you shall be granted immortality."" But John came fifth, and won a toaster."

"Mom: What are you hiding in there? -nuthin [Vin Diesel noises from closet] M: Is Vin Diesel in there? -...yes Vin Diesel: [from closet] No."

"I ran over my cat with a lawnmower. I guess you could say I tore that pussy up."