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Joke of the Day

"Mr. Penis has a sad life. His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbour is an asshole, his bestfriend is a pussy and his owner beats him habitually!"

"Why do the French make omelettes with only one egg? Because in France one egg is un oeuf."

"Don't tell me about how you ""dressed up"" your baby for a special occasion. If you're wearing something you can shit in you aren't dressed up"

"I used to be an Uncle like you... ...Until I took an arrow to the niece."

"How do you know when your sister is on her period? (NSFW) Your dad's dick tastes like blood."

"I bought a designer body bag and now I'm scared to gain weight."

"I can usually tell how productive I've been at work, by the battery life of my phone."

"I hate it when I get my days mixed up and I accidentally take my stupid wife out instead of my girlfriend."

"My friend told me all women are the same. He always makes broad generalizations."

"My body is a temple... And it's devoted to Dionysus. Cheers."