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Joke of the Day

"FUN PRANK: Bump into Kanye in public, pretend you don't recognize him, and say ""EXCUSE ME ORDINARY CITIZEN"" Then watch how mad he gets."

"A battery's life sucks. You're either working or you're dead."

"M.C. Escher goes into an ou so s W."

"How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time."

"The best revenge is living well, unless you own a flamethrower."

"I had this problem where the cap wouldn't stay on my whiskey bottle. So I fixed it with scotch tape."

"Why did they let the chicken join the band? Because he brought his own drumsticks"

"so long suckers! i rev up my motorcylce and create a huge cloud of smoke. when the cloud dissipates im lying completely dead on the pavement"

"Did you hear about the support group for people who talk too much? They're calling it ""On and on Anon""."

"My friends laughed at me when I said I wanted to be a comedian... Well they're not laughing now"