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Joke of the Day

"FUN PRANK: Bump into Kanye in public, pretend you don't recognize him, and say ""EXCUSE ME ORDINARY CITIZEN"" Then watch how mad he gets."

"People who have quit Reddit, how is life like now?"

"If you need a fake British pub name for an elaborate lie the formula is Animal+Gardening tool= we had a proper laugh at the Frog&Shovel mate"

"Why was the Newfie excited when he heard Quebec might leave Canada? It wouldn't take him as long to drive to Toronto"

"How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? Let's go ride bikes!"

"My birthday is coming up, wife agreed to bday sex. Thankfully she'll be out of town on a business trip so I'll have the house all to myself."

"*hears someone breaking in* *grabs gun and walks down hallway* *cord drags* *realizes I grabbed Nintendo gun from Duck Hunt* *gets shot*"

"What did the cannibal say to his co-worker? You should stop by later. The missus and I are having people for dinner."

"Helium walks into a bar The bartender says ""sorry we don't serve noble gases here."" The helium did not react"

"Q: Did you hear about the ghoul who had eight arms? A: He said they came in handy."