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Joke of the Day

"Surprised to hear five people were shot at a Chris Brown show, most notably because why were there that many people at a Chris Brown show?"

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"Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it? Because it was stationary."
"My favorite one liner ever!!! Last night I walked into a bar it hurt"
"[red carpet] ""So Ryan, who are u with tonight?"" Ryan Gosling [proudly] ""My parents"" [two geese in black tie nervously shuffle to his side]"
"The doctor says I'm depressed because I don't have enough iron in my diet so I've started nibbling on the gun in my mouth."
"My English teacher got really angry about the format of my essay. It wasn't justified."
"What did the oven tell the slice of bread? You're *toast*!"
"""And to my son Ronald, I leave my entire collection of mint-condition, never-been-opened LinkedIn Updates emails."""
"My favorite pick-up line: Hey girl, my name is Tony. You know what that is backwards? Y not."
"Surely I'm not the only who chews extra hard to make sure the Teddy Grahams are good and dead. Surely."
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