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Joke of the Day

"Arnold Schwarzenegger is a Republican whose wife is a member of the Kennedy family. That makes him and his family...The Red Kennedys."

"[first date] Me: so u just wanna poke ur straw thru that little hole Her: I know how juice boxes work Mom: well isn't she a feisty one?"

"Why there is no windows 9 Because 7 8 9 Heehaww"

"What does a cat say when he likes something? It's purrrfect."

"What did the Pope say when he first saw the Shroud of Turin? Holy Sheet!"

"What do you do when you see a Jew in Compton? Challah at ya boy!"

"Vacations are a great way to spend thousands of dollars to stare at your phone in exotic locations."

"I just feel like you shouldn't be using a selfie stick unless you're a T-Rex."

"Just spoke to my mom. Unrelated: Anyone want to have unprotected anal?"

"I have a cross eyed friend who just got diagnosed with depression. Makes sense because he never looks forward to anything."