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Joke of the Day

"What did the LOTR fan say to the LOTR hater? What are you Tolkien about..."

"Politics is like a car you press ""D"" to go forward and ""R"" to go back"

"Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants? In case they get a hole in one."

"*Batman happily approaches Batmobile* Wife: Forget it, Bruce! We have two car seats & need to go to Costco. *Defeatedly gets in Batvan*"

"Your screenshots of text message conversations tell me: 1. you have a great sense of humor 2. to never trust you."

"Where does an angry pirate get sent? Anchor Management"

"I always yell ""I'm not masturbating!"" when someone knocks on my office door so they know I'm not masturbating."

"Me: Dropped my phone & now screen doesn't work. Help forum: Should've had a better case. Apparently, my mother works in Samsung support now."

"How do Mexicans cut their pizza? With Little Ceasars *drops mic, Harlem shakes off stage*"

"I never had to swim for my life in a shark attack but once I had to doggy-paddle really fast to get out of a pool when it was dessert time."