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Joke of the Day
"What did the writing utensil take for his high sugar level? Pencil-in."
Next Joke
"Guns don't kill people People that have 5 kids, 1 cat, 2 ex-mother-in-laws & work 50 hours a week without wine in their life, kill people"
"The doctor told me to lose some weight. I said, ""How?"" He said ""Don't eat anything fatty."" I said, ""You mean pies, chips, that sort of thing?"" He said, ""No, just don't eat anything, fatty."""
"Other uses for chloroform 1) A great conversational piece when talking to the cops about using it 2) Make the day go by faster 3) And finally, as a reagent."
"Stop calling hurricanes names, you're just giving them the attention that they want"
"CASHIER: what, no tip? ME: here's a tip: always wear a seat belt CASHIER: no, i meant money ME: oh sorry. invest in a 401(k)"
"Boomerangs are Australia's largest Export. And Import."
"Feed your kids soup for dinner, so you can sit at the table for 47 minutes and listening to slurping."
"A Irishman, Mick goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain... Doctor: ""Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking"" Mick : ""Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"""
"Sleep is so cute when it tries to compete with the internet."