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Joke of the Day

"Stop calling hurricanes names, you're just giving them the attention that they want"

"There's 2 types of people in this world... Ones that pee in the shower And liars"

"A rainbow is doing a drug deal... The cops pull up and the rainbow yells ""I don't want to go back to prism!"""

"When I lost my rifle the army charged me $85.That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship. Sometimes shit happens"

"When a guy thinks that older women are more into him than they actually are... Is it an example of the Dunning-Cougar effect?"

"Soon we'll all have to sign an apartment lease, sign up for electricity, and water, and cable, and school didn't teach any of this."

"Hey Starbucks. If you gotta name your drinks with stupid language, don't roll your eyes when I order a gitchy gitchy yaya mocha choca latte."

"I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on."

"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car, outside of a planned parenthood center? Having to go inside and ask for a coat-hanger."

"The finebros confiscated my Epi-Pen I was having an allergic reaction."