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Joke of the Day
"This isn't working out. I think we should start making other people miserable."
Next Joke
"how do you make holy water boil the hell out of it"
"* thinks of a tweet before falling asleep * decided to remember a ""key word* so I can remember it * wakes up * forgot key word"
"Gas is so fracking expensive these days."
"My therapist said I need to stop listening to Ke$ha on my iPod and start acting my age. So I bought Ke$ha on vinyl. Tik Tok."
"An Eskimo was driving through new Zealand His car suddenly broke down after a small wait the mechanic told him ""aw shut bro you've blown a seal"" to which the Eskimo replies ""shut up you fuck sheep"""
"Heard this from a homeless guy in Philly What did one testicle say to the other testicle? Ya know, just between you and me, that guy's a dick."
"Two dyslexics are walking down the street... ""Can you smell dog shit?"" asks the first. ""I can't even smell my own name"" replies the other"
"How do Jews do a pregnancy test? The woman spreads her legs and the man throws a penny between them - if a hand darts out to snatch it up then it's a positive"
"I haven't slept in days I've been sleeping at night."