110254

Joke of the Day

"You know why paedophiles don't play Skyrim? No lollygagging."

"My wife has just come home and asked how things went with the baby. Now in mild panic mode as I thought she took the baby along with her"

"Patient: Doctor I am very nervous. You know this is my first extraction. Young dentist: Don't worry it's my first extraction too."

"I am fairly certain that ""YOLO"" is ""Carpe Diem"" for stupid people."

"Legal tip for men: if you get a free t shirt at a bar, you're not required to keep it forever, like they can't arrest you if u throw it out."

"If I were God I would say I'm going to fill the ocean with water but when the Subway employee wasn't looking fill it with Sprite instead."

"I got my first kiss from a girl today.... It was milk chocolate."

"What is the difference between a camel and a college student? Camel can go days without drinking!"

"An ex girlfriend of mine had a Cockatoo, that fucking thing would never shut up ... but her bird was cool."

"20 yr old mom: my child is my life I would give my own life for him 40 yr old mom: GET OFF THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW OR I WILL END YOU"