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Joke of the Day
"Why do sovereign citizens never turn on the lights? The sound of electricity triggers their PTSD."
Next Joke
"A customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes to the technician. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of her diskettes."
"Apparently fat people in scooters despise being called a cripple-potamous"
"What's the hardest part of making monster soup? Stirring it."
"You know what bothers me? When people assume you're homeless cause you're asleep on the street and your pants are gone.."
"According to my Nike fitness app, I watched TV for 6 miles this week."
"""Do you know why I pulled you over?"" ""You thought I'd like your pretty lights?"" ""Recite the alphabet backwards"" ""I can't even do that sober"""
"I hate when people read over my shoulder while I'm texting. 2 car lengths please Mr. Policeman."
"Turns out, humans aren't the only ones who have trouble with homonyms. My dog keeps saying ""rough"" instead of ""ruff""."
"What's the worst part about locking your keys in your car outside of a Planned Parenthood? Going inside to ask for a coat hanger."