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Joke of the Day

"I love October because it signals the change from eating tacos outside season to eating tacos inside season."

"Did you hear about the band Kansas getting arrested for kidnapping at the airport? They tried to carry-on my wayward son."

"People who argue on their cell phones in public should have to do it on speakerphone so the rest of us can get both sides"

"A young boy came up to his mother crying, when his mother asked him what was wrong, He said, ""I went to Jared"""

"I lost 42 pounds!!! Help me find her before her mother comes back!"

"Trump and Cruz are fighting over whose dick is bigger and whose spouse is a bigger whore. Two more contests Hillary will win."

"There is simply no need to add ""NSFW"" in your bio. This is twitter. None of us have jobs."

"Whenever I have a bad day,,, I just remind myself that there are people out there who have their ex's name tattooed on their body"

"Apparently, if she's refused to speak to you for two days your text should not be 'Why are you mad again?'"

"What's E.T. short for? Cus he's got little legs"