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Joke of the Day

"My teacher was impressed with my mediocre computer programming project He gave me a C++!"

"How do you ruin a joke? By reposting it every week!"

"Did you hear about the whistle-blower who couldn't make it home for Christmas? He was Snowden."

"I'm the girl who shows up at a Halloween party where everyone is dressed as something sexy and I'm dressed as a bean bag."

"How do Japanese people refer to American politicians? Parti-san"

"A man went to see his doctor. ""You need to stop masturbating,"" the doctor said. The man asked, ""Why?"" The doctor replied, ""Because I''m trying to examine you!"""

"Happy Independence Day! oh wait..."

"Homeless people wouldn't be half as poor if they didn't waste all of their money on sharpies and cardboard."

"Wife: oh honey, I didn't marry for money, the guy I fell in love with had an easy smile, a sparkling laugh & big dreams. then I met you."

"I have a great story to tell u. ""Why don't u just go write a book"" Wow, that's- ""Don't u dare say it-"" a novel idea. ""I'm moving out"""