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Joke of the Day
"Why did the semen cross the road? because I put the wrong sock on this morning... :("
Next Joke
"To all newly married guys..... If you screw up Valentine's Day, you'll be celebrating Palm Sunday for a long time."
"You ever feel like you just don't really understand anything, and then your hands turn into flippers and you realize you're a dolphin?"
"I think I'll design something cool, get a bunch of people to like it, and then make it steadily worse with every update. Oops, been done."
"What's the President's favorite vegetable? Barackoli"
"I don't do innuendos, but slipping alternative names for poo into sentences is something I do do sometimes."
"It's sad that they drain power from so many horses to make car engines run."
"I wrote a really cheesy joke today... Kso you're probably wondering what the joke is."
"I sprayed Taylor Swift's new perfume on me then started writing a five page letter to the boy who forgot to put a straw in my bag at Arby's."
"I invented a game where people get so stoned they can barely walk & chase each other around the yard. It's called...wait for it: Hash Tag."