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Joke of the Day

"Beats by Dre is such a huge success that I think he should start a sunglasses line. 50 Shades of Dre."

"Him: Where'd you get that black eye? Me: My girlfriend gave it to me. Him: I thought your girlfriend was out of town. Me: I did too..."

"Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands."

"what do you call to person who have contusion on her wrist...... computer addict :p"

"[Job interview] ""What are your strengths?"" Me: I fall in love easily. ""Erm, okay... what are your weaknesses?"" Me: Those blue eyes of yours."

"Fiance' works at an old folks home and said that they had the heater up to far all day. I guess you can say that she was... Sweating with the Oldies!"

"I put ""the rap"" in therapy. Yo, yo. Emotional baggage, bitter like cabbage. Rollin up the green like a Hulked out savage. Burger, Inc."

"A guy I know got bitten by a radioactive bedbug. He spent 3 weeks in a coma, but when he came round again he was able to fold a fitted sheet"

"The awkward moment when you've already said ""what?"" three times and still have no idea what the person said, so you just agree."

"Brexit, for France AdiEU"