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Joke of the Day

"Been to the hospital to get a mole checked. Apparently they all look like that & I should've just left it in its hole in the garden."

"If only politicians kept their campaign promises... like Harrelson keeps his rampart."

"What time does the funny stuff start around here? I can come back..."

"Already resenting that I have to wake up tomorrow."

"A proud German from Frankfurt was so pissed off when he traveled to England and people called him a Frankfurter ... ... he moved to Hamburg."

"The story of the upvote DAT SHAT be unin a gut tiiime we needsa usa deaa oopvote us a doonvote n all da boom world bee hap hap@#! Der viginia is a centurfuge of paap!@#$%^&*()_+"

"Why did the proctologist have his cars towed to the auto repair shop? He rectum."

"Timeouts just give children a quiet place to plot your murder."

"I thought about starting a business selling halos... ...but the cost of overheads was too high."

"Hey imbecile, just because you are listening to loud music on your iPod, doesn't mean that the rest of the supermarket can't hear you fart"