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Joke of the Day

"Socialist jokes are not funny Unless everyone gets them."

"I just ran into my high school bully and it was great cause I'm doing well and he's 17 which is very old for a dog"

"I stole a friend's phone today and set it so it will autocorrect ""I've"" to ""me've"" and me'm really excited about it."

"What's do pot and pusssy have in common? You can tell the quality if you can smell it across the room."

"Do you know any good water jokes? Well?"

"Have you guys heard about that new broom that's sweeping the nation? I heard it literally leaves its competitors in the dust!"

"My friends say I'm shallow... because I won't sleep with someone who's 200."

"So a priest and a kid walk into the forest The kid says to the priest, ""wow, im pretty scared."" the priest says, ""your scared? I have to walk out of here alone."""

"How does a leopard change its spots ? When it gets tired of one spot it just moves to another !"

"Life Tip: If you're ever attacked by a shark, compliment his smile. Sharks are very vain and susceptible to flattery."