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Joke of the Day

"If Mr. Bean lost one of his legs he'd be cannellini!"

"When I die, I'd like my coffin to be filled with Reese's Pieces so on my headstone it can say ""R.I.R.P."""

"Pigeons always look like they're jamming out to an invisible iPod."

"Katie Price and Kerry Katona have both got books coming out this month...which could plunge the U.K. into a huge crayon shortage."

"*job interview* so tell me a fun fact about yourself Guy: well when I was 5 I fell into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla exh- get the hell out"

"Any dude who waits for Valentines Day to treat his woman like a Queen is failing 364 days a year."

"I like my women like I like my Isis victims. Topless. Remember, this is just a joke, so don't be offended. It's nothing to lose your head over."

"If it looks like a fish and smells like a fish... Shes's probably too old for you."

"It's hard to tell a joke to Thieves... They always take things, literally."

"Why don't the circus lions eat the clowns? They taste funny!"