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Joke of the Day

"Whenever I fill out a job application with a box for ""Race,"" I add a question mark and then write, ""Anytime. Anywhere."""

"A show about a vampire glee club's exploits in 1960's New York. You're welcome, Hollywood."

"How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb? It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb."

"Why doesn't Asia wear makeup? Because it clogs its SINGAPORES!"

"You're a dog person? *Throws a stick* Well? Aren't you going to run after it or are you cool with being a normal human that's also a liar?"

"Some people think that their life experience compensates for their lack of brain."

"How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid."

"The 7-yr old has the flu so I'm letting her lick the envelopes of all my credit card bills."

"My son just said he doesn't like cheese and now I have to interview all the mailmen in my neighborhood"

"What animal is best at playing hide and seek? The airplane."