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Joke of the Day

"Whats black, heavy, round and comes from the sky that can kill you? A bowling ball."

"What's the difference between an epileptic oyster and a prostitute with IBS? Well, one you have to shuck between fits..."

"I threw my girlfriend a surprise bukkake party. You should have seen her face."

"My wife was captured by a gang of mimes. They did unspeakable things to her."

"A kangaroo walks into a bar. He orders a beer. The bartender says, That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here. The kangaroo says, At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand."

"Dear Coworker, If I'm nodding my head & smiling at everything you've said, this means I'm fantasizing about getting banged by David Beckham."

"How many French horn players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better."

"I like my women how I like my toll pass Funded and mounted"

"If your building doesn't have an elevator and you don't live on the first floor, we can't date. I'm looking for a relationship, not a gym."

"Men should never wear a Saran Wrap skirt to a job interview... They'll clearly see yer nuts"