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Joke of the Day

"It took a lot of balls for me to go on the Channel 4 show ""Embarrassing Bodies"". Three actually."

"Eggs What does an embryo say when it's serious? No yolk!"

"DAD: You're adapted. SCREENPLAY: What?!"

"Why did no one like the Archer Because he was too arrowgant!"

"Did you hear about the wooden car with the wooden engine, the wooden doors and the wooden chassis? It wooden go."

"#BREAKING Oscar Pistorius has today made a plea for clemency ahead of his sentencing in April Mr Pistorius claims he is not the first bloke to come home legless and put a few loads into his missus."

"Let's talk about Sex Baby. I regret you naming our son that. You're a real piece of shit, Tammy."

"So a girl once asked me... ""Hey wanna come over? Nobody will be home."" So I came over. And nobody was home."

"I AM NOT REALLY YELLING AT YOU I JUST GOT USED TO TALKING TO MY TEENAGER WHO ALWAYS HAS HEADPHONES IN"

"""Dean, what do you think is a reasonable price point for a chocolate cake?"" ""Good question, Deluca. I'm gonna say $95."""