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Joke of the Day

"What do planets like read? Comet books! Edit: What do planets like to read?**"

"Just found out I have a tumor in my ladyparts... It's one of those that can be known to have hair, teeth and bone in it. I don't what I should do. I'll probably just get an abortion though."

"What's the difference between a Bitch and a Slut? A Slut fucks everyone. A Bitch fucks everyone but you."

"Which is the only bank that drug tests all of its employees? PNC"

"I need to take a new default picture but i'm nowhere near a bathroom mirror."

"I just pretended to be on my phone in the elevator and then my phone rang. I'm going to close up shop emotionally for the day"

"What do they call the Hunger Games in France? Battle Royale with cheese"

"Dad i know I'm adopted Hi adopted, I'm not dad"

"I was dating a radiologist... but it didn't work out: she could see right though me."

"I knew my girlfriend was cheating on me. She told me she was at the mall with her friend Carrie. Thing is, Carrie was sleeping right next to me!"