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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend was getting kinky in bed, and she said, ""Hurt me! Hurt me!"" So I got in my car and ran over her cat."

"What has 7 letters and makes only Redditers mad? [deleted]"

"Diet tip: If you think you're hungry, you might just be thirsty. Have a bottle of wine first and then see how you feel."

"Why couldn't the Duke of Esterhazy find his music composer? Because he was Haydn."

"Why do aliens only abduct white people? Because they are easier to see in the dark."

"What do you say to a black guy with a job? Keep at it, inmate!"

"There was a black-out in my city last night. The police said stay in doors until they shot him."

"Instead of regular Christmas cake, I hit my Italian neighbor over the head with a saucepan Pan-a-tony"

"If somebody's presence does not add value to your life..Then their absence should make no difference!"

"Ive tried everything to get my dog to behave. Ive tried shoving it into a wool tube, stabbing it in the neck and head, etc. nothing works."