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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you leave 50 lesbians and 50 lawyers in a room? You end up with 100 people who don't do dick"

"What's the difference between Asians and Caucasians? Asians don't have the ""cauc""."

"my daughter hones her survival instincts by forgoing the provided bowl and spreading goldfish crackers all over the house to forage & store"

"At school he used to enjoy streaking. On it's own, not a particularly interesting fact, until you consider he was at an ALL BOYS boarding school."

"I feel like MacGyver- given a bottle opener and a bottle of beer, I was able to crudely fashion an open bottle of beer."

"Wonder which part of Batman's belt holds the bat-shaped throat lozenges he uses after speaking in his tough voice for long periods of time."

"Talk to your kids about drugs. Maybe they have better connections than you."

"What did the ""O"" call the Zero? Weirdo!"

"How do you know a girl with leprosy likes you? She gives you the eye."

"If I had a dollar for every gender... I'd have $2 and some monopoly money..."