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Joke of the Day

"What are you doing when you Sentence almost a Dozen Surfers to death by the Gallows? You're Hanging Ten, Dudes!"

"What was Dodi Fayed's favorite state? In Diana"

"Why do Chinese people love NY? Because they heard we sell hotdogs for $0.75 each."

"The bar was walked into by the passive voice. From [here](http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/seven-bar-jokes-involving-grammar-and-punctuation). What are your best language jokes ?"

"British men is visiting Australia. Learn: The man at customs asks him ""Do you have a criminal record?"" The British man replies ""I didn't think you'd need one to get into Australia any more."""

"I'm already 14 yrs old Dad! why don'y you buy me a bra? Shut up Peter!"

"Why don't quantum physicists have sex? When they find the position, they don't have the momentum. When they have the momentum, they can't find the position."

"I ordered the kit ""Make your wife beautiful"" And they sent me two bottles of Jagermeister."

"DR DOG: Please remove your shoes & step on the scale PATIENT: Ok DR DOG: I'll be right back *carries the shoes out of the room in his mouth*"

"And the Lord said unto John ""Come forth and receive eternal life"" But John came fifth and won a toaster."