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Joke of the Day

"[Airport security supervillain screening] AGENT: Spell 'haha' ME: OK, 'M',-- AGENT: ur under arrest"

"I respect whoever allowed women into the military. Girl on period + gun = unstoppable."

"""Bite me, asshole"" - grammatically correct and scathing ""Bite me asshole"" - kinky pirate"

"Every once in a while someone comes along, and if you are really still they'll eventually go away."

"Rat and a Mouse Q:What's the difference between a mouse and a rat? A: 1 has a less likely chance of survival in the dog pound"

"I love October because it signals the change from eating tacos outside season to eating tacos inside season."

"Every time I pinch a loaf; I think,""I don't knead this shit."""

"My hands are really reliable I can always count on them."

"Due to the rising cost of ammunition I will no longer be able to provide a warning shot. Thanks for your understanding."

"Boy, do I love soccer It's the only sport where the fans are tougher then the players."