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Joke of the Day
"Why are cell phones like a dog's nipples? You don't have to shout into them."
Next Joke
"""I know it doesn't look good on paper, but hear me out guys, Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na BATMAN!!!!"""
"Bruce Willis in Starbucks. he gives his name as ""not Bruce Willis"" and when they call him he grabs his coffee and runs away giggling"
"So is my call important to you or will it be answered in the order it was received? IT CAN'T BE BOTH!"
"So. Like. We're all just gonna ignore the rapture that's supposed to happen?"
"What lands as often on its tail as it does its head? A penny."
"If I have a son, he's going to be named Alvin Simon Theodore, and it'll be funny as hell whenever anyone gets mad and yells his full name."
"If you only had 1% battery left on your phone, what would you tweet? Because clearly we'd still tweet."
"Why do irish fried beans only have 239 beans? Because the extra bean would be too farty."
"What do you get when you roll weed on a dictionary? ...High Definition"