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Joke of the Day

"Man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. The husband came back with a gun and shot the man in bed. The wife replied ""this is why you don't have anymore friends."""

"Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch? They don't want to have to retrain them."

"What does an Irish Samuel L Jackson say when passing someone on the street? Top of the Mornin' Muthafucka!"

"Meeting your ex IRL is like staring into a black hole There should be something there, but there isn't. And it sucks."

"my doctor wrote me a prescription for dailysex My girlfriend insists it says dyslexia"

"A Jewish man had a son, who converted to Christianity. The man prayed to God, ""Oh Lord, my son has converted to Christianity! What should I do?"" And God replied, ""Yours too?"""

"Kellyanne Conway can't receive PDF's in her email so she uses an alternative: Fax"

"What did Pongo say to Goofy at the Annual Disney Dog Conference? I've got 99 problems, but a bitch ain't one."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Honestly I'm so shit faced I have no idea."

"We've been misinterpreting the Islamic Extremists... Allahu Akbar *actually* means **""YOLO""**"