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Joke of the Day

"if carrots could get you drunk.... rabbits would be fucked up."

"This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she's not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!"

"How do you take your coffee? **Barista:** How do you take your coffee? **Customer:** Ferguson Police **Barista:** Huh? **Customer:** Black, two shots."

"I may be a bit rusty, but if the world ever needs me to climb into a triangle and shoot asteroids, I'm ready."

"Two nuns met a exhibitionist. One had a stroke. The other one just watched it."

"[NSFW] What did the farmer say when he got caught watching porn? Amishamed of myself."

"Sad day--NBC said no to my TV idea, 'Celebrity Q-tip Cams', where we go deep inside the ears of the stars."

"What's the difference between two dicks and a joke? You can't take a joke."

"What has six balls and rapes the poor? The lottery. It's over $800 million folks! Dragged this joke back for the occasion."

"I need Volcano puns Anyone have any good volcano puns that I can use?"