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Joke of the Day
"Q: What do you call a frog with seven legs? A: A seven-legged frog."
Next Joke
"What do you call cute seeds? Awwwwwwwwwwwwmonds P.S. it's my birthday please love me"
"Can we pretend that shooting stars in the night sky are like airplanes? I could sure use comfort that we won't get hit by a meteorite."
"I am a dyslexic agnostic insomniac. I lie awake at night wondering if there is a dog."
"Ever notice Santa brings way nicer shit to rich kids than poor kids? Hey kids ,maybe it's time to do a little Christmas critical thinking."
"I usually spend my Sundays texting apologies but I've had an alcohol free weekend now I have nothing to do."
"How do you keep an idiot waiting?"
"Optimus Prime: ""I transform from a robot into a truck. You?"" Amazon Prime: ""I transform money into regrettable internet purchases at 2 AM."""
"My dog just saved my life by ferociously barking at nothing outside."
"Arnold Schwarzenegger has made a pretty good career for himself in pest control... They say he's a great ex-terminator"