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Joke of the Day
"""I want to drink but not have a good time. One Bud Light, please."""
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"My grandfather went to the doctor The doctor said he has the body of a 21 year old, who smokes, drinks, and does hard drugs."
"What do you call 100 blondes standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel!"
"Guys, freedom of speech doesn't mean you can spell things any way you want to."
"Congratulations to Tu Youyou on winning the Nobel Prize in Medicine and for being the most confusing person to sing Happy Birthday to."
"What happened to the tyrannical peach? He got impeached!"
"What do you call a Transformer that's also an optometrist? Oculus Prime."
"I almost got hit by a car this morning and the scariest part was that my last words would have been ""whoa there chap"""
"A pirate with a parrot on his shoulder was applying for a job. His resume spoke for itself."
"Moses opens his tablet. The notification says, ""You have 10 unread commandments'."