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Joke of the Day

"What do you do at a festival when the bass is too much? Drop some acid, it'll neutralize the effect"

"A random Aussie called me a cunt. I guess we are like best friends now."

"Last year, I got socks for Christmas. The year before, I got a couple of sacks. And before that, a sax. For pity's sake, Santa, you blind old jerk, it's sex. S-E-X."

"How to make holy water You boil the hell out of it."

"What was Hitler's favorite kind of juice? Concentrated."

"Her cooking is so bad, it would make medicine sick!"

"If life gives you melons, you're probably dyslexic."

"My coworker just took a broom and pole vaulted over the cubicle partition to confront the woman who accused her of being on speed."

"LPT: Masturbate before texting your Ex. It'll make you cum to your senses."

"Steve Jobs What do cancer cells do when they get bored? they get jobs"