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Joke of the Day

"I added broccoli to my kid's Mac n Cheese and now he's sitting in a spinny chair, petting a hairless cat and plotting his revenge."

"What is the interior temperature of a Tauntaun? Lukewarm"

"My girl friend said to me ""sex is better on daytime""... That wasn't a very nice Idea..."

"A moral compass is just a clock that isn't drunk enough."

"I'd walk through fire for my daughter. Well not FIRE, because it's dangerous. But a super humid room. But not too humid, because my hair."

"I should've married myself. I've never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever."

"What's the difference between jews and girl scouts? The girl scouts come back from the camp."

"I'm just a boy, standing in front of a printer wondering if he forgot to press something."

"What do women and aircraft share in common? They both have cockpits"

"What evil do the USA and Darth Vader have in common? Using imperial units."