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Joke of the Day

"What do Brooklyn and tight jeans have in common? Flatbush."

"TIL theres a supermoon on the 14th. ELI5: If it's so super, why doesn't it fly around in the sky? Oh, right... because it got paralyzed and died."

"I went to the gym and asked the guy there to teach me how to do the splits..... He said 'how flexible are you?' I said 'I can't do Thursdays.' Credit: Tommy Cooper"

"Dinner Table Son = Dad,can you pass the salt? Dad = I don't know,can you pass the semester?"

"People ask me, ""Matt, how do you do it?"" , ""Matt, what's your secret?"" , ""Matt, why do you make up imaginary interview questions?"""

"My friend asked me if I had any black in me I told him not since I got out of prison."

"""Expires 4/2013""??? What a boring-ass Snapple Fact"

"I asked a girl to kiss me under a mistletoe and she said she wouldn't kiss me under anesthesia."

"JOB OPENING: Entry-level for recent college grads. Minimum 87 years of experience required."

"What jedi is the best at opening PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi"