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Joke of the Day
"Dinner Table Son = Dad,can you pass the salt? Dad = I don't know,can you pass the semester?"
Next Joke
"What's the rudest type of Elf? The GofuckyoursELF "
"Why is everyone in the Soviet Union always in a hurry? Why is everyone in the Soviet Union is always in a hurry? They're all Russian."
"BEAR JUDGE: Counsel, this is your last warning, you cannot-- LAWYER: *plays dead* BEAR JUDGE: Where did he go"
"A guy just assaulted me with milk, cream and butter. How dairy."
"17: Want to see a movie? Me: Sure. 17: Afternoon show only, so no one sees us together. Me: Ok. *Posts pic on IG. Tags all her friends."
"Why do stop lights turn red? You would turn red too if you had to change in front of everybody."
"Plumber: you have hard water. Me: you mean like ice?"
"What is green and smells like red paint? Green paint. Haha"
"Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.- the place in any American city where you can be sure to find racial tolerance and understanding."