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Joke of the Day

"Wifey: We should get a chest freezer. Me: We don't need a freezer that big. Wifey: What if we need to hide bodies? Me: I love you."

"I think I have procrastination disease. I'll go to the doctor later."

"what do you call a Chinese man with 2 black eyes who lamped chow"

"We have essentially Elected 4chan for the 45th president of the United States. This is a day that will go down in Infameme."

"I invented telescopic arms for snooker players........and the rest is history."

"Anyone got a 10 year old daughter I could introduce as mine? Stuck in an elaborate lie after putting my music on shuffle at a party."

"So, if he gets divorced for the third time... Does Melania get to keep the White House?"

"A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, ""Why the long face?"" And the horse says, ""I'm finally realizing that my alcoholism is driving my family apart."""

"What is it called when a cow is unwillingly milked? **Moo**lestation"

"What do pizza boys and gynaecologists have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it! (Joke from sikipedia)"